Name the situation
Write one sentence about what is happening, then separate facts from assumptions. “I have two deadlines this week” describes a situation. “I will definitely disappoint everyone” describes a worry.
Bring the focus back to your choices
Questions beginning with what or how often give you more to reflect on than a fixed yes or no. Try “What would help me choose between these options?” or “How can I communicate my needs clearly?” A card cannot establish what another person secretly thinks.
Keep the scope manageable
Ask about one situation you can describe. If the question feels too broad, bring it into a shorter time frame or one decision. You can finish with one action, one conversation, or one thing to learn.
Try it for yourself
- What do I know, and what am I assuming?
- What part of this situation can I influence?
- How can I rewrite my question so it invites a useful next step?
Check your understanding
Which question gives you the clearest room for reflection?
What can I do to prepare for this conversation? Preparing for a conversation focuses on a specific situation and actions within your control.
Why separate facts from assumptions before drawing?
It helps you notice when an interpretation is confirming a worry. Feelings still matter. Naming assumptions helps you examine them without treating them as established facts.
Guide by Cardloom · Published 2026-10-14.